


Leaders and Sacrifices

by orphan_account



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 15:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2817017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It goes like this. You are the leader. You are responsible for everyone on the team from Robin the Boy Wonder who is very much human to Superboy the seemingly invincible. You are responsible for their well-being, physical and emotional, and no one team member is worth more than the other. You are responsible because you are the leader.</p><p>You never wanted to be the leader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaders and Sacrifices

It goes like this. You are the leader. You are responsible for everyone on the team from Robin the Boy Wonder who is very much human to Superboy the seemingly invincible. You are responsible for their well-being, physical and emotional, and no one team member is worth more than the other. You are responsible because you are the leader.

You never wanted to be the leader.

But you had to. No one else was fit and so the team voted you and you had to report to Batman every time you failed. And you failed a lot. You failed in informing the team of the mole, you failed in keeping them together, you failed many times. You subtly beg to stand down but there is no one fit for leadership, not yet. So you stay leader for four years until finally, finally, you thought Robin ready.

By that time the team has grown, Rocket has come and gone, Batgirl, Bumblebee, and Mal have joined and Tula-

Tula.

There are many things you come to regret silently. That you weren't there when Tula died is one of them. When Tula _sacrificed_ herself. It haunts you in the night, in the way Garth can no longer look you in the eye. You were in charge of her. You swore to protect her.

You admit to Nightwing later in the weeks following Tula's watery funeral, tears not quite falling from your eyes, that you don't think you can lead anyone anymore, much less yourself.

Learning about your true parenthood just digs the feeling deeper. You have never drowned, you were born filtering the water through your gills, but you think this is the feeling those above water always fear. You are the bastard son of a criminal specifically aiming to killing your king, your fellow Atlanteans. You are the son of Black Manta.

In the height of your misery it seems you have no one to truly talk to. Your King, who you have followed so graciously for years has lied to you. Your mother ashamed of herself and a small part of you resents her as well for indiscretion though you keep that part silent. Roy has been gone for weeks, a goose hunt for a missing boy with the same face and name as he. You do not go to the team for you are their leaders and leaders do not break down.

Leaders also do not fail their team.

You're sick of playing leader.

In the reign of terror and misery and heartache you are not quite in the right state to make decisions. You make it anyway. It is suicidal, dangerous, and above all selfish but you know the risks. Nightwing offers condolences, backtracks and ways out. You don't tell him how it was his suggestion. You don't tell him how you may have grown to fail but Robin has grown to manipulate.

You don't tell him how sorry you are that you've failed him too. Instead you shake his hand in front of Tula's holographic visage glaring somewhere above their hands, nothing like the bright girl he remembered, and carefully walk by the second Robin's solemn projection.

~~You are Kaldur'ahm. Son of Shayera and loyal soldier to King Arthur of Atlantis.~~

~~You are Kaldur'ahm. Loyal friend of Tula and Garth and a student at Atlantis Conservatory of Sorcery.~~

~~You are Kaldur'ahm. _Failing_ leader of a small covert team of young superheroes~~

~~You are Kaldur'ahm. Son of the Black Manta and soon to be **betrayer** of the Justice League.~~

You are Kaldur'ahm and you're best friend lies dead at the bottom of the ocean and you have been lied to your whole life. You are Kaldur'ahm and you're  _tired_  and alone.


End file.
